I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
