I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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