My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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