just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
