before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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