hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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