are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
