just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
