Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
