There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
