nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
