Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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