actually, I'm a sock model
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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