How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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