She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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