I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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