we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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