when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
