Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
