He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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