I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize