My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
