mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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