alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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