Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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(408): View more from California

Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.

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(404): View more from Georgia

she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.

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(206): View more from Washington

he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked

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(256): View more from Alabama

I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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(530): View more from California

My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.

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(205): View more from Alabama

he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent

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