I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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