real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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