So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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