i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just want nice things and good sex
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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