we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
