I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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