I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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