is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
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Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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