Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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