I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
