Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
