i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
