im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
