He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
