i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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