OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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