Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
