Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
