Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
