Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
