I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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