It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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