He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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