I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
this will be a night to untag.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize