Got a toothbrush?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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