I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When are your genitals available?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
