hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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