birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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