I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I will pee on everything he values.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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