she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
